the fact that there are animals who can see colors that i cant which means that there are colors that exist that it is literally impossible for me to envision is such fucking bullshit that i wanna rip open a couch and eat it
voting against gay marriage is like ordering a piece of cake at a restaurant and having a complete stranger be like “waiter, cancel that cake”
"waiter cancel that cake it’s ruining my cake and i don’t know how to explain it to my children"
"my dietbook said I can’t have cake so throw that guy’s cake away too."
One day I’m gonna find a cute boy to stay home with me on Sundays and watch cartoons and eat froot loops and he’ll love every bit of me and we’ll have stupid arguments and kids that look like the cutest parts of both of us and we’ll all dress up fancy for Halloween and my life will be average and I will be happy
let’s stop making jokes about girls and start making jokes about white boys
here i’ll start
*white boy voice* chill out man it was just a joke
[walks into class 10 minutes late with a can of Monster] sorry I’m late I got frontpage on Reddit
[wipes cheeto dust off onto cargo shorts] so if you support gender equality does that mean it’s ok to hit women now?
The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear
Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl
I’m a boy
Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight
~ pete wentz (dec. 2005)